Letter to Eric Gagne

Note: This was an assignment for French class. Yes, I wish Eric Gagne was a better pitcher; however, I would never actually tell him this, or hold his coincidental name against him.
(If, by any highly unlikely chance, you are reading this, Monsieur Gagne, no that there is no harm intended, just a bit of amusement!)

Also, apologies for the lack of accents (don't know how to add them on blogger) and any errors (I'm sure there are plenty; my teacher never checked it and neither, really, did I.)


Cher Eric Gagne,

C'est dificile d'imaginer un situation meilleur dans le monde du baseball. Les Red Sox ont gagne tout. Ils sont champions du "monde". En plus, c'est le deuxieme fois en 4 saisons qu'ils ont gagne.

Mais ce n'est pas avec votre aide qu'ils ont gagne. Non. Vous, avec le nom d'un champion, vous avez perdu plusieurs fois. Comme c'est amusant que l'homme avec le nom Gagne ne peut pas gagner. Vous donnez peur aux coeurs des millions de fanatiques, chaque fois que vous entrez a jouer. Quand on ecoute a votre nom sur le systeme d'addresse, on sens le froid d'hiver, meme en juillet. Parce qu'on sait que vous ne meritez pas votre nom: vous ne gagnez jamais, alors vous n'avez pas le talent pour meriter le nom du Gagne.

Au moins, votre prenom n'est pas Victoire.

Votre reputation, avant de venir a joindre l'equipe de Boston, etait incroyable. Reclamez cette reputation et gagnez votre place dans leq coeurs des fanatiques de Boston. Gagnez le droit a porter la chemise avec le nom "Gagne". Le monde du baseball serait mieux. Les fanatiques seraient contentes. L'equipe gagnerait toujours! Les fanatiques des autres equipes detesteraient l'equipe de Boston plus, et meme plus.

Si vous ne vous ameliorez pas, les fanatiques de Boston crieraient les insults jusqu'a votre resignation. Ils moqueraient de votre nom (comme je fais ici!).

Si plusieurs americains parlaient francais, vous n'auriez aucune chance. Maintenant, vous avez la chance d'arreter ce malchance et reprendre votre place comme roi des lanceurs, comme un gagneur...

Comme un Gagne.

J'espere que vous avez succes dans le futur, pour l'equipe et les fanatiques, pas seulement pour vous.

Sincerement,
Grace

Letter to "Pride and Prejudice"

Dear "Pride and Prejudice",

You are a wonderful book. An excellent book, with an incredible story, which also makes a great movie, play, Bollywood musical, and (as I can only imagine) opera.

There is just something about you that I can't put a finger on. Something about you that makes everyone love you. (People who don't love you just don't understand you yet.)

One of the things I love about you is the use of letters in your story. It's amazing how much of the story takes place in, or is told through, letters. So many of the important events in your plotline come out in letters--the scandals, romances, important bits of gossip... It's all there, in the letters. (Another thing I love about you is how regular every-day gossip is turned into a very important and relative aspect of life. I get a great deal of enjoyment out of that.)

Some parts of you just stick out. Little lines are excellent when applied in modern life. Most of your content is applicable in any period of time, as evidenced by the many adaptions available.

I think it would be interesting to see an adaptation of you taking place before your time, instead of after it. What if there was a version of "Pride and Prejudice" that took place during, I don't know, the American Revolution? Or maybe Ancient Greece. That would be fascinating, and I would definitely read it.

It's not just the story or the plot that is timeless. The characters are so humane. Mr. Darcy could be a proud, haughty British actor, or a top barrister, or an American hotel heir (just to name a few of the characters that have already been based on him). The qualities that are so important to the story, namely prejudice and pride, are still at large in the world, and I imagine will continue to be for quite some time. You could take all of the qualities of Lizzy Bennett and find them in women of all ages around the world. The same goes for Mr. Darcy.

Thank you for existing, "Pride and Prejudice". You are a great read and a great friend. You are the book that keeps on giving, in many different ways, and it is on behalf of many, many people that I thank you. Because we all love you.

Your faithful reader,
Grace Zivny

Letter to Pedro Martinez

Dear Pedro Martinez,

I don't know you, so it seems strange to start this letter with a friendly "how are you". But I might as well be friendly. How are you?

My name is Grace Zivny. I am 18 years old and I just graduated from high school. I am a big Red Sox fan, but I hesitate to call myself diehard since you have left Boston for the Mets. I can hardly blame you; I find myself tempted to become a Mets fan.

You have been my favorite baseball player since I was twelve years old, when I first became a baseball fan. I used to write you every month, but you never replied. Not that I expected you to.

I met you once in a mall in... Watertown, or something. I stood in line for two hours with hundreds of other Red Sox fans. You signed my hat and after that I took it everywhere with me. Now your signature is hardly visible.

I thought it appropriate to write you now, for the first time in nearly six years, to tell you what you have done for me. Besides being my favorite, and giving us a Championship and all that, you have given me interest in your country, culture, and language. Since 7th grade, I have dreamed of the Dominican Republic, of seeing the country that produced Sammy Sosa, Miguel Tejada, and you. When I started high school, I planned on taking French, because I love the culture and the country and, well, the language. The problem was that you spoke Spanish!
I took French, and I lived in France for six months in 2003 as an exchange student, so I am now pretty fluent.

Which means it's time to tackle Spanish.

And what better way to learn the language than to live in the Dominican Republic?

So I applied to an exhcange student program, AFS, and decided to take a year off from school. This February, if I'm lucky, I will arrive in the Dominican Republic for six months of immersion, during which I will live with a host family, learn Spanish, and volunteer full time. I don't know what I will be doing or where I will be living, but since hearing of your childhood and what you have since done in your hometown, I have been in love with the idea of going there, seeing it, and doing something myself.

The funny part is when people ask, "Why the Dominican Republic?"

I can only blush and say, "Pedro Martinez."

I aspire to learn many languages and travel the world, live the world. I honestly feel that I owe a lot of this to you. So. Thanks for being an awesome baseball player, for signing my hat, for winning the Cy Young Award, for playing on the Red Sox, for bringing us the World Series Title, and for always killing the Mariners when you played Seattle (as that's the only time I ever got to see you).

I hope you read this.
Grace Zivny.